Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You ate ashes out of my bong
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
