Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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