they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
