I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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