I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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