I think my fart just growled at me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Of course I have a pirate flag
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
