so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
