Me too!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
