Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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