This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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