Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
