When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
