He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
