So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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