She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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