His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
