My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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