I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
