i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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