put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
