based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
