i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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