Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
