just come out here and I will go home with you...
id be glad to
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
