I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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