grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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