No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
