So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do vagina's smell?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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