Whod you bang
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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