Porn is love you can see.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
