Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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