What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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