Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
