You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
