Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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