Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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