I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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