I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
