I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
