Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
