her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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