The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
