yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
