Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
