you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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