I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
