I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
