Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

Fav 6 2581 1798
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(586): View more from Michigan

We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.

Fav 11 1361 4146
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(585): View more from New York

My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

Fav 6 1057 4140
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(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

Fav 38 13585 1851
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(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

Fav 7 2635 847
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.

Fav 4 1842 652
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

That is like, the point of shorts

Fav 5 1747 1156
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait

Fav 1 83 18
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again

Fav 0 28 40
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