We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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