I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
